Monday, August 16, 2010

Just What I Needed for Today

Kindergarten drop off went well. There were no tears, just heart jitters from both mom and Miss A. She was excited, but her face told me that she was nervous.

She asked if "all day" really meant all day. Would I be coming to get her at lunch?

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I told her that she'd do great. After lunch was recess and she wouldn't want to miss it. I'd be at the Kindergarten door waiting for her at the end of the day.

Last night, after her bath and before her "end of summer ice cream sundae," she told me that it was the last day. The last day we'd ever spend all day together; just us. The last day I'd get her for the whole day. I said there would be weekends, school breaks, and summer vacation.

My old soul little girl said, "Yes, but it will never be the same again."

She's right.

It won't.

Knowing that breaks my heart a little bit, but also makes me so very grateful. Grateful that God has given me these three precious children to raise. My job is really to make them ready for Life.

Kindergarten is just one step in that process.

Miss A, it will never be the same again, but maybe it will be even better. Your whole life thus far has taught me to cherish the moment. As the youngest child, I've looked at everything you've done and accomplished as something to cheer, because your dad and I won't walk these same steps again, ever.

Walking out of the elementary school doors today with your dad, I thanked God for this moment. Right now. Right here. It's gonna be a long journey to get you and your siblings to adulthood. For that, I'm grateful. I'm not ready to say goodbye to parenting just yet. Today was one more step in that journey and I can't wait to see what God has placed on our path together for the next 13 years.

It's gonna be a ride.

Go and read the words to this song from Steven Curtis Chapman. It's a great reminder of the blessings of being a mother. Even on the days that are tough.

One Heartbeat At A Time Song Lyrics Steven Curtis Chapman Lyrics Christian Music Song Lyrics


Kim said...

very very very sweet and true ... I read your updates almost always but seldom ever take the time to comment! So sorry :( Life is so incredibly busy but your sweet family is such a precious thing and the way you have documented the daily blessings is going to be such a treasure!


aefh said...

I just put my nephew on the bus because my sister wasn't sure that she could do it and I experienced many of the same feelings found in your blog. I am such a softie and don't need much of an excuse to cry.I found myself thinking will my emotions ever be "normal" again.