My children are all talkers. Two more than the other (sounds like Sesame Street), but they all express themselves well with little or no prompting. Occasionally, we have to remind them that all their thoughts do not need to be spoken. While their mother is still learning this lesson, we are hoping to teach them young and early that it's OK to think/ponder without always sharing everything with everyone.
Over the last few days, as we have both grieved and celebrated the life of Grammy, their comments have caused me to chuckle, cry, or feel deep tugs at my heartstrings. They are all processing grief differently, but I am often amazed at how honest, deep and thoughtful they are in this time.
On what would have been my grandmother's 97th Birthday, I thought I'd share some of the things I've overheard these past few days. They will give you pause and a good chuckle:
* C at the service yesterday told my mother; " You never know what you have until you lose it"
* C when he saw the songs for the service was a little disappointed. He said, there are no "good songs" on here. He loves contemporary Christian Music but was thinking more along the lines of Toby Mac, Mercy Me and Chris Tomlin. My dad had picked out Grammy's favorites; Amazing Grace, The Old Rugged Cross and the Gaither Classic " Jesus There is Just Something About that Name." All classic Grammy songs and perfect for the setting. I told him his children would say the same thing about his funeral songs. How old fashioned. He said Amazing Grace sounded familiar but with different words. Guess he missed " My Chains are Gone".
* A at the cemetery yesterday asked, "why is Grammy still in there. She's in heaven. I don't get it." She also wanted to know where all the dead people where. When we told, her she looked at us like we must be crazy.
* M before the service yesterday was nervous about "seeing" Grammy. I assured her she did not have to go up and see her. She did and observed that she was glad she still had her nails done and, as usual, pretty in pink.
* A this morning said, "I guess we won't be going to see Grammy anymore at her place. Will we mom?" "That's sad", she said.
* A last night after a long day said, "I had a good time at Grammy' s thing. Is that OK?" She was trying to process the fact that she played with cousins, laughed, and had fun with the fact that maybe she should have just been sad. I told her Grammy would have loved watching her have fun with her cousins! That is what Grammy liked to do best.
* M was happy this morning when I told her the sun was shining on Grammy's Birthday. M pondered it and said every birthday from now on will be sunny for Grammy in heaven. I bet the party has already started.
I'm sure the party has started and all the guests are wearing pink just like we did yesterday in her honor.
Tomorrow is Annette's Preschool Grandparents Day. Her Nana and Papa are coming to the party. She is thrilled. I think the timing of this is perfect. It is a little reminder that life goes on and that grandchildren/grandparents are there to treasure. She won't tell me what they have planned or what is happening. It's all a secret and I'm not a grandparent. She did tell me that when I'm a grandparent to her children, I can come then. Please Lord, let that be decades from now, we need to get through grade school first!
Showing posts with label Grammy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grammy. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
I Will Rise: Grammy's Finally Home
Grammy is finally Home in Heaven. Her journey here on earth complete.
Can't imagine the excitement in my grandfather's eyes when he saw her arrive last night.
When I told M this morning about Grammy her first words were , "I bet she loves Heaven."
I know she does. While we are sad today and will miss her presence in our lives nothing compares to knowing where she is and how wonderful her Homecoming must have been with all those who have gone before her.
This song by Chris Tomlin in one of my favorites. The kids and I sing along to this all the time in the car. Hearing A's little voice sing out " I will rise" just warms my heart. It's impossible to describe the joy that comes from knowing that Heaven awaits us and by trusting in Jesus we will again "Rise".
Death has no victory.
If you don't know where you are going at the end of your life or are not sure the way to heaven check out this sight/link. Jesus is waiting for you! Both now and when your time here is done.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Saying Goodbye to Grammy with Hope
My grandmother's body is slowly shutting itself down. After almost 97 years (her birthday is May 5th), her human body has run out and she is preparing herself for her heavenly home.
I've known this day was coming for a long time. When my grandfather died, almost 15 years ago, I would not have given her 4 years.
Hospice is coming this week to help her in this transition from earth to heaven. They will make sure she is comfortable. She is ready to go, but it's still sad. It’s sad to see that the end of her life is coming not in an instant of sleep, but as the result of pneumonia and heart and kidney failure.In a way, it's a gift, this process of dying.
When I visited her earlier this week at the hospital, she was confused, agitated and disoriented. She wanted to go back to the nursing home, couldn't figure out why the Dr. never came to visit (her partner had), and why she was wearing some old ugly dress (hospital gown). It was hard to see her this way.
By Friday, it all changed. Her mind, while still confused, is now more focused on saying goodbye. She must have told me 30 times how much she loved me, how wonderful I was, what a wonderful husband and family I had, and how much my grandfather adored me. In my heart, I knew she was saying her goodbyes.
When my dad called Friday afternoon to say that this was the time to call Hospice, I was not surprised. Friday morning's visit was my gift. I had sat and held her hand, kissed her forehead and told her all about how much I loved being the only granddaughter, how I loved visiting her on the green front porch, how those afternoon naps and coffee afterward are memories stored in my heart forever.
Yesterday, I took the three kids to see Grammy, so we could say goodbye. They have been blessed not to experience death up close in their short lives. No one in our immediate or extended family has died that they knew. This is their first glimpse at saying goodbye with hope.
I told them that it was time for Grammy to go to heaven. She would see her husband and Jesus and have a body that was whole and healthy. I said I thought Grandpa Oink (my nephew's name for my grandfather) was waiting for her. He probably wondered what had taken her so long.
There were tears. A was nervous and scared and sad. She doesn't like to see people hurting or sick. M had sobs and tears rolling down her face all morning in anticipation. C was crying as he held Grammy's hand. We told her how much we loved her. She poured out blessing upon blessing to my kids: how adorable they are, how much they are growing, how smart and loved they are, and what wonderful kids they are becoming. She told C congratulations on his Eagle Scout quest. That's “the best” she said. She told M how beautiful she is becoming, no longer a little girl.
A and I stood outside for awhile and talked about how we should not be sad for Grammy. We should be happy. She's finally going home to heaven. It's a joyful time, not scary. She had asked earlier in the day that believing in Jesus means you die? No, I had told her believing in Jesus means that when you die, you get to live again in Heaven.
Death is not easy whenever it happens. At 97* she's lived a full life and has seen her sons grown with families of their own. But it's still sad to say goodbye for now.
In a way, it's a blessing that my children get to walk through the valley of death with a loved one who has experienced so much of life. I can share the reality of death without as much pain for them. I don't have to shelter them from death. There is no trauma and no fear with Grammy. It's just time for her to go to her heavenly home. That gives us all hope.
On the way home from the hospital we talked about Heaven and what Grammy will be doing there soon. I'm thinking that Grandpa Oink is waiting to play a round of golf with her. He'll probably still be hitting her tee shots so she only has to play the fairway.
John 5:24 (New International Version)24"I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.
I've known this day was coming for a long time. When my grandfather died, almost 15 years ago, I would not have given her 4 years.
Hospice is coming this week to help her in this transition from earth to heaven. They will make sure she is comfortable. She is ready to go, but it's still sad. It’s sad to see that the end of her life is coming not in an instant of sleep, but as the result of pneumonia and heart and kidney failure.In a way, it's a gift, this process of dying.
When I visited her earlier this week at the hospital, she was confused, agitated and disoriented. She wanted to go back to the nursing home, couldn't figure out why the Dr. never came to visit (her partner had), and why she was wearing some old ugly dress (hospital gown). It was hard to see her this way.
By Friday, it all changed. Her mind, while still confused, is now more focused on saying goodbye. She must have told me 30 times how much she loved me, how wonderful I was, what a wonderful husband and family I had, and how much my grandfather adored me. In my heart, I knew she was saying her goodbyes.
When my dad called Friday afternoon to say that this was the time to call Hospice, I was not surprised. Friday morning's visit was my gift. I had sat and held her hand, kissed her forehead and told her all about how much I loved being the only granddaughter, how I loved visiting her on the green front porch, how those afternoon naps and coffee afterward are memories stored in my heart forever.
Yesterday, I took the three kids to see Grammy, so we could say goodbye. They have been blessed not to experience death up close in their short lives. No one in our immediate or extended family has died that they knew. This is their first glimpse at saying goodbye with hope.
I told them that it was time for Grammy to go to heaven. She would see her husband and Jesus and have a body that was whole and healthy. I said I thought Grandpa Oink (my nephew's name for my grandfather) was waiting for her. He probably wondered what had taken her so long.
There were tears. A was nervous and scared and sad. She doesn't like to see people hurting or sick. M had sobs and tears rolling down her face all morning in anticipation. C was crying as he held Grammy's hand. We told her how much we loved her. She poured out blessing upon blessing to my kids: how adorable they are, how much they are growing, how smart and loved they are, and what wonderful kids they are becoming. She told C congratulations on his Eagle Scout quest. That's “the best” she said. She told M how beautiful she is becoming, no longer a little girl.
A and I stood outside for awhile and talked about how we should not be sad for Grammy. We should be happy. She's finally going home to heaven. It's a joyful time, not scary. She had asked earlier in the day that believing in Jesus means you die? No, I had told her believing in Jesus means that when you die, you get to live again in Heaven.
Death is not easy whenever it happens. At 97* she's lived a full life and has seen her sons grown with families of their own. But it's still sad to say goodbye for now.
In a way, it's a blessing that my children get to walk through the valley of death with a loved one who has experienced so much of life. I can share the reality of death without as much pain for them. I don't have to shelter them from death. There is no trauma and no fear with Grammy. It's just time for her to go to her heavenly home. That gives us all hope.
On the way home from the hospital we talked about Heaven and what Grammy will be doing there soon. I'm thinking that Grandpa Oink is waiting to play a round of golf with her. He'll probably still be hitting her tee shots so she only has to play the fairway.
John 5:24 (New International Version)24"I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.
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