My children are all talkers. Two more than the other (sounds like Sesame Street), but they all express themselves well with little or no prompting. Occasionally, we have to remind them that all their thoughts do not need to be spoken. While their mother is still learning this lesson, we are hoping to teach them young and early that it's OK to think/ponder without always sharing everything with everyone.
Over the last few days, as we have both grieved and celebrated the life of Grammy, their comments have caused me to chuckle, cry, or feel deep tugs at my heartstrings. They are all processing grief differently, but I am often amazed at how honest, deep and thoughtful they are in this time.
On what would have been my grandmother's 97th Birthday, I thought I'd share some of the things I've overheard these past few days. They will give you pause and a good chuckle:
* C at the service yesterday told my mother; " You never know what you have until you lose it"
* C when he saw the songs for the service was a little disappointed. He said, there are no "good songs" on here. He loves contemporary Christian Music but was thinking more along the lines of Toby Mac, Mercy Me and Chris Tomlin. My dad had picked out Grammy's favorites; Amazing Grace, The Old Rugged Cross and the Gaither Classic " Jesus There is Just Something About that Name." All classic Grammy songs and perfect for the setting. I told him his children would say the same thing about his funeral songs. How old fashioned. He said Amazing Grace sounded familiar but with different words. Guess he missed " My Chains are Gone".
* A at the cemetery yesterday asked, "why is Grammy still in there. She's in heaven. I don't get it." She also wanted to know where all the dead people where. When we told, her she looked at us like we must be crazy.
* M before the service yesterday was nervous about "seeing" Grammy. I assured her she did not have to go up and see her. She did and observed that she was glad she still had her nails done and, as usual, pretty in pink.
* A this morning said, "I guess we won't be going to see Grammy anymore at her place. Will we mom?" "That's sad", she said.
* A last night after a long day said, "I had a good time at Grammy' s thing. Is that OK?" She was trying to process the fact that she played with cousins, laughed, and had fun with the fact that maybe she should have just been sad. I told her Grammy would have loved watching her have fun with her cousins! That is what Grammy liked to do best.
* M was happy this morning when I told her the sun was shining on Grammy's Birthday. M pondered it and said every birthday from now on will be sunny for Grammy in heaven. I bet the party has already started.
I'm sure the party has started and all the guests are wearing pink just like we did yesterday in her honor.
Tomorrow is Annette's Preschool Grandparents Day. Her Nana and Papa are coming to the party. She is thrilled. I think the timing of this is perfect. It is a little reminder that life goes on and that grandchildren/grandparents are there to treasure. She won't tell me what they have planned or what is happening. It's all a secret and I'm not a grandparent. She did tell me that when I'm a grandparent to her children, I can come then. Please Lord, let that be decades from now, we need to get through grade school first!