Funny Things I've Seen Or Heard Lately

I'll readily admit that these "funny things" posts are totally just for me so that years from now I can remember these days!  Thus, I'm listing them in no order whatsoever...

1.   Miss A had been disappointed the first day back to school after break.  She thought her brother (who did not have school yet) was going to come and have lunch with her and see his old 1st grade teacher-now her teacher.  It was a big misunderstanding, but she was crushed when he didn't show up!  Bad mom moment too.  To make up for this indiscretion, I promised to come up that Friday for lunch and bring homemade mac and cheese from home! 

She agreed.  That Friday was crazy busy for me and I tried to cram too much into a short period of time and arrived with just seconds to spare before "lunch," but with the promised mac and cheese.  I was thrilled with myself for making it; her response "I didn't think you were going to show!"  Really.  We had a fun lunch in which I opened five milks, two puddings and prompted two friends to wipe their face to catch the messy gunk falling off of it.  We laughed and talked and I really enjoyed myself.  Miss A said it was her best lunch ever.

It was then time for "us" to go out to recess and I asked Miss A if she wanted me to go (I've always gone in the past) and she said and I quote " No, I'm done with you, you can go now.!" I think I was dismissed.

2.  Last week Miss A was home from school on Thursday and Friday suffering from a bad cold.  We watched some Little House on the Prairie shows and played some games and read books.  By late afternoon on Friday, she was back to normal so we did our "regular" weekend plan.  Monday morning as she was getting dressed for school she knocked on my door and said she needed to talk to me.  She was worried if people heard what she did over the weekend they would think she was cheating.  "If I tell people that I got a manicure on Saturday, they might think I was faking being sick." 

Really is this a normal thing for a first grader to worry about?  She had already told me on Thursday when she woke up sick that she wished it was a weekend since she hated to miss school. Miss A was worried she might fall behind.

Thankfully, Miss A was able to return to school on Monday and no one questioned her character.  When Miss M heard this story, she said that at her school some people take a "mental health day" and skip out to do fun things or just sleep in.  Mr C, of course, quickly pointed out that Jr High and elementary school are so easy there is no stress and no reason to need time off. High School, on the other hand, is challenging, stressful and that chilling out on the weekend is a requirement to get through the rigors of the daily grind.

I'm thinking that a mental health day is when all my kids are in school for an entire week!  Oh, and if the mother gets a weekend away to scrapbook with friends, that's as good as a Caribbean Vacation. Just don't tell my husband that when I'm gone next weekend, I've convinced him its all work and stress getting our family scrapbooks back on track!

Cornicopia or Hodgepodge Whatever You Want to Call It...

Just for the record books or in my case the scrapbooks that keep sitting on the craft table starring at me, here are few real life things from the past few weeks that I want to remember. None are all that exciting, but they are the glimpse of our day to day life that I don't want to forget in the years ahead. It is in list form because it's easiest and doesn't require complete sentences!

1.  P and I celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary on Sunday November 6th. Amazing. We enjoyed a great date day on Saturday when we went to the NU Game and saw the Huskers lose to Northwestern. Shocking.  I told my parents I don't think I've been to a winning Nebraska game in years. We tend to go every year around our anniversary or when they played Texas.  Maybe the team should ask me to stay home next year!  It was a great day for football and we had so much fun talking without interruption.  Score, I even knitted on the car ride.

2.  Our actual anniversary was spent at church and then at a pancake benefit for one of Mr C's classmates families.  I hate Pancakes and all Breakfast food, but ate some as it was for a good cause. My husband actually tried to say it was like taking me out to eat!

3. Mr C wakes up about 30 minutes before he needs to go to school each morning.  He calls this his "transition to awakeness time" and its crucial for him.  He also wakes up each day and says "I think I might dress up today?"  Hello, he has no choice; its his uniform.  Sadly, he's grown a little more lately and all the dress pants we bought him in October are beginning to look short. 

4.  Miss A was helping me the other day before school to sort the dirty laundry.  She loved it. The piles of colors and whites were so fun for her make.  She did everyone in the family's overflowing laundry basket.  She told me not to ever do this again without her help.  Where is that enthusiasm from the other children.  No one offers to help put it all away when it's clean either.

5. Miss M has her first dance competition this weekend.  Its a local event and includes an all day dance convention. She told me that she's so looking forward to this weekend, but she needs me to purchase some more hair spray.  Can't have that dance bun falling out I guess.  For the Saturday event, she told me it's OK if I bring my knitting along, but I need to remember to watch when she performs.  As if I'd miss it.

6. We boxed up our Operation Christmas Child boxes last week and I've never been so excited to think of the boys and girls getting their packages.   Friday night, the whole family went to the Dollar Tree and filled the boxes to the brim.  Mr C picked out some fun things for a little boy and, of course, the girls picked girls their ages to shop for.  It's very hard to go shopping to buy things for others and not leave with anything for yourself, but it was a great life lesson for the kids. 

7.  Finally, we are a little old fashioned about Christmas decorating (at least I am) and won't allow anything up until after Thanksgiving.  I always feel so bad for this non commercial holiday, it gets lost in the commercialism of Christmas.  So sad.  Anyway, I've obviously been too vocal on it.  On the way home from Church on Sunday, Miss A announces that she plans on going to the house on the edge of the neighborhood and tell them you must take down your "Halloween decorations before you put up your Christmas decorations.  Come on people, it's lets not forget about Thanksgiving!"  We kept a close eye on her Sunday afternoon and did not let her ride her bike too far away!

Whew.  I feel a lot better getting all those "things" off my chest.  Now, I can know these memories are safely kept right here and giving me more brain room for Thanksgiving planning.

Funny Things I've Heard or Dreamed Lately!

Mr C is playing in his first JV Reserve football game tonight.  It's an away game which means he's traveling by bus to the school.  Due to scheduling, neither my husband or I are able to go.  It's dance night for M , I have a meeting to get a kindergarten Daisy troop started (praying someone will step up to be the leader), and P is traveling until this evening. 

I told C I felt bad no one would be there to cheer him on and he said it was no big deal as he doesn't think he'll see any playing time.  It's JV not freshman so it's a tougher team and rougher play.  I was feeling bad the other night about this enough so that it invaded my dreams.  I had a dream that C broke his ankle and had to go by helicopter to the hospital.  I rushed to meet him at the emergency room, but Mr C would not talk to me. He was too mad that I had missed his game.

When I told Mr. C about my dream his only question, "what was I doing when I got hurt, was it a good play?" Seriously! 

I  told him I had no idea and I was more worried about the ankle bone.  Plus, in my dream, I had to rush from the hospital to a meeting at the Jr High about a field trip to Spain.  Mr C was going to be a chaperone on the trip (his one year of Spanish had obviously paid off) and I was concerned he wasn't fluent enough.  The teacher who responded to me in French said it was OK since everyone spoke English there anyhow.  When I asked my husband why the Spanish teacher was speaking French, he said it was because she was from Switzerland.

Can you tell Mr C had been reviewing European Capitals and Spanish vocabulary before going to bed?  I love crazy dreams.

Miss M when she heard about these crazy dreams of course claimed it was unfair that C would get to go to Spain, she never went anywhere!  Lets remember it was a dream. 

Finally I must tell on Miss A and how sweet and innocent seven year old are.  I just love this age so much.  A student at Mr C's school was expelled and while we had talked in hushed tones about the reason, she obviously had picked up the "reason." She told me the other day that she hopes that C's school doesn't find out that he uses Nasonex for his allergies.  She'd hate for him to be kicked out too!

Really, I could not make this stuff up. Sadly, it looks like I've been the fodder for more and more of these crazy moments of late. Must be my fall allergies causing my brain to misfire, or the lack of sleep.  Certainly couldn't be my norm.

Nah.

Out of My Element: They Don't Speak My Language

I'm come to understand that I don't speak everyone's  language.  At least not the people I've had to talk to the last few days.  I've seen the blank stares, the shaking heads and the looks of wonder as I've asked questions or sought help in places outside my element. In many ways, they have talked a different language than me and their surroundings are not familiar. I've felt like a foreigner as I've looked around their "homes" and it's made me nervous.

Most of the time I seem to hang around people who speak my same language whose experience is similar to my own and who have "homes" that I feel very comfortable walking into and being a part of.

Not so much the people I've visited lately.

The lawn and garden worker at Lowe's looked at me as if I speaking a different language when I asked him if they carried that "thing" that makes the weed whacker actually whack the weeds.  He looked even more confused when I confessed that my lawn mower had just stopped working and that I thought it might have something to do with the oil that spewed out the week prior when I hit the oil cap on the house.  Maybe he had something to get it started again.

He looked at me as if I was talking gibberish when I asked how would I know how much oil to put in the thing and if I needed to mix it with anything or just pour away. He even tried to scare me to death (the tactic of those in charge) saying I might have blown up the engine. 

A few days later, I returned (mower works fine, thank you very much) to get the "do hickey" for the edger.  According to P, it was no longer edging and he needed a new blade. I went armed with the right words thanks to my husband, but two separate stores had nothing for me.  They recommended I go the the source, the Dewalt store, which of course is not open on the weekend.

So yesterday, I ventured to the store for all things Black and Decker and upon opening the door realized that I was in way over my head.  There were blades and knives and weaponry of all forms and all packaged in little boxes labeled with foreign words.  Thankfully, a kind soul who looked like he lived in the land came out and asked if I needed help. I handed over the old dead blade and asked him to replace it and quickly as I needed to get back home.  He chuckled and said this was the saddest, smallest, and most pathetic looking edger blade ever.  Then he went into the backroom and and came out a new one.

Then I asked him if he sold Sawzaw blades too.  It was not like I had any idea what I was asking for, but  I was just repeating the words P had given me.  We needed to replace some blades after the Eagle Scout project

Mr Tool then asked a whole bunch of questions about what I would be needing the blades for; metal, wood, cutting up people, etc. At least I think that's what he said.  I had that blank stare that happens when you have no concept what the person is talking about. So, I called my husband and asked him to translate. Minutes (maybe hours) later when I walked out of the store with blades and more blades in my hand, I called my husband back and shockingly he didn't answer. 

I left a long message about the fact that I refused to go to anymore of these places where they don't speak my language. I'd rather hang out a fabric store or a knitting shop. I get those people.  I might not understand everything they say in one of those shops, but I get them.  They get me. 

As P would later tell me it's like I speak Ebonics in the Knitting Shop.  Not quite the proper English, but close enough.

Funny Things I've Hears Lately

The new school year, start of fall activities, and the lack of television watching has added to the crazy thing my children have been saying of late. While I try to encourage my kids to support, build up and encourage one another, they've gotten a few jabs at each other.  Often, they jab without even trying.

Mr C was talking about his freshman football team and how practice was going in the heat.  He mentioned that one player got hurt and is out for the season with a knee injury.  As a result, he's become the team manager.  Miss A in all sincerity spurted out the following: "too bad that wasn't you Mr. C, you'd love to be the team manager."  Ouch!

After a long day of practice (six hours-two a days they call, he calls it torture), Mr C said; "you know this is a lot of work for someone who just wanted to ride the bench, I'm actually getting pretty good at football."

Miss M was a little worried about the summer musical and if she'd remember to speak loud enough, hit her lines exactly, and tell her jokes without stumbling over the punch line.  Mr C with a straight face told her," I've never known you to have trouble talking and talking and talking..."  Gotta love brotherly love.

Miss A needed to change quickly into her soccer uniform after her musical performance on Saturday.  The locations were about as far apart as possible in our small town and we were rushing.  Miss M tells Miss A to strip in the car, just pull your pants down in the car seat, move your little tush around, and I'll get you going into your soccer clothes." No problem she says; I do this all the time." 

I'm hoping she was talking about getting out of dance clothes and not stripping in the car!

Miss A is loving first grade and leaves each day with a smile on her face, but she's missing home a little too.  Monday morning she told me, "I miss spending time with you when I'm at school all day; we had some great times together you and me.  I miss my Barbies too, but I miss you more."

Glad to know I rank above the Barbies.  I'm thinking its a close second however.

Finally, the best line of the week belongs to my husband.  On Sunday when our family was doing Step Out (a day of service to the community that a bunch of churches do), we were weeding a garden when Mr. C found a garter snake.  I screamed.  He then proceeded to chase me around the garden with the snake in his hand.  I ran faster thankfully.

I told my husband that I couldn't believe Mr. C would be so mean to his mother. P in all seriousness said, "Oh Jill it was just a snake!"  He had a big grin on his face. 

Really honey!

Next Time I'm Wearing a Hard Hat and Other Lessons

It's very quiet in the house today.  School has started for everyone and its seems as if its all going well.  I have pictures to document the new year and funny stories to share, but its just the first day for Mr. C so I'm waiting until I get the scoop first.  Miss A and Miss M have already two days under their belt and according to A the school year is just flying by.  You'll just have to wait.

First, I've learned a few lessons over the summer I thought I would share. List form is always best I've decided for lessons.  It takes me back to my college days and meticulous note taking from lectures.  Don't get me started.

1.  I might want to wear a Hard Hat when I mow the lawn.  Today was a little like Hitchcock's The Birds movie in my backyard.  A barn swallow (think HUGE bird or maybe not) was dive bombing me.  At least that's what is seemed like.  He wanted the fresh "bugs," but he kept coming in so close to my head I had to duck.   Then he decided to bring along four friends. It was a dive bombing party.  I was not a happy guest.

2. A few weeks ago while mowing I almost gave my neighbor a heart attack I screamed so loud!  A huge rabbit ran across my shoes as it escaped from behind the air conditioner.  My neighbor came running to see if I've run over my foot with the mower!  No, I'm just afraid of small little "rodent like animals."

3.  Mr C learned to mow the lawn this summer, but that might be a slight exaggeration.  He mowed at least six rows of the lawn; all flat, in the open areas and only on cool days.  His excuse for not doing more; football conditioning every day, two weeks of camp and of course the need to chill.  Next summer, it's all yours buddy.  There will be no more coddling from your mother.

4.  I've decided that mowing the lawn is really good for your skin.  It's like a little pore cleansing session every time.  You sweat out all the bad stuff, shower off the dead layer of skin, and you even get a great farmers tan.  I'm not sure it's good exercise as I can only run so fast behind the mower and the hills I push it up aren't really that steep, but on really humid days you feel like you've run a marathon.

5.  Finally, I really meant to have my lawn mowed for back to school pictures, but life just got in the way and I didn't want to waste the last precious moments of summer mowing.  I'd rather be running around like crazy to Target, haircuts, football practice and the lake.  I have my priorities in order plus my front porch plants are dead anyway so I'll be photo shopping the pictures to make it look like I'm a good gardener and lawn care person.

Who says you can't learn things over summer vacation. 

My Top Four Least Favorite Animals and Other Things

I think sometimes that people think I exaggerate the nuisances of Miss A and that I expand on the funny things she says, but I really couldn't make this stuff up.  Last night, on our way home from the CWS, it was just Miss A and I as the rest of the crew makes it a little longer.  They actually watch baseball and are not just there for the snacks.  Needless to say, it was an hilarious road trip home when you combine an exhausted little girl, the opportunity to talk without anyone interrupting, and a willing listener.  Miss A was in rare form.

My husband had warned me that Miss A was looking for another snack, and when she entered the car, she told me that Dad said you might get me something on the way home,  "You know Mom that Dipping Dot was a rip off, so small you couldn't believe it."  She was starved. 

Rarely, do I fall for the McD, but it was close and I knew they had $1 drinks and chocolate chip cookies, so I fell for the plea.  I think that cookie got her talking so it was worth the money!

Miss A asked me if I knew her four least favorite animals in the world.  No, I didn't.  Her list includes bugs of all sorts (especially those poisonous spiders and tarantulas), tigers (cute when they are babies, not so much when they are older), jaguars (while they are really cute, they are so fast and scary to meet in the dark) and finally snakes (especially those killer ones).  When asked if she'd ever run into any tigers or jaguars in the dark, she laughed at me saying, "Of course not, she lives in a neighborhood."

After we discussed my least favorite animals and figured out that all but one of them rhymed:  cats, rats, bats and bugs, we moved onto various other topics.  Not to leave anything out, we covered her birthday in August, gift ideas, party ideas and, of course, why she thinks we should consider getting her another American Girl Doll.  She'd like a "Just Like Me AG Doll," but not the one with short hair or the the one with her eye color.  According to Miss A, she's changing.  Her hair might be growing longer again and, while her eye color might stay the same, "it's OK if it not exactly like me." 

I'm thinking those cookies were a cheap way to get her to talk.  I wonder if they'd work on Mr. C on those days that he thinks more than speaks, especially early morning rides to workouts when my husband says he's barely awake.

So what are your four least favorite animals?

Funny Things I've Heard Lately: Summer Edition

We've survived the first week of summer vacation. Considering that the pool is not yet open, most of our neighborhood friends were still in school and the mother has been crazy busy with VBS registrations, it is an accomplish to have gotten this far.

Of course, in the midst trying to get our summer grove on, we've had plenty of laughs.

Every morning Miss A asks me the same question, "Is it warm enough for a tank top?" She is convinced that summer and sleeveless go together. My answer every day has been "not yet" and, when you consider that on Thursday if was only 58 degrees, I think she realized I was right.

Miss M and Miss M have been having sister sleepovers in Miss M's room almost every night. They have their sister time, watch movies and read books before they go to bed, and then when they get up too early in the morning, the party continues. Mr. C asked Miss M why she keeps hanging with Miss A. I loved Miss M's response "well we are sisters and it's the same price to sleep in two rooms or just one."

Hard to beat that logic.


I took Miss M, Miss A and a friend to see Gnomeo and Juliet this week, and while I'll admit it wasn't my favorite kid movie I've seen lately, it was fun. I espcially liked watching Miss A, Miss M and Miss A's friend giggling, holding hands and belly laughing over the funny parts. Really is there anything better than watching kids have a blast?

On a family walk last night, the laughs were aplenty. First don't get the idea that we are the "Mayberry clan" whistling as we walk to pond to fish, we had two tired parents, two scooter riding girls and a son who was wishing he had other plans. However, we were having a family outing so that counts for something.



Miss A wanted to bring water bottles for everyone on the walk. However, her carrying case on the scooter only held one so she took care of herself first. Along the walk, she stopped a few times to get a drink. Mr. C commented that he was happy Miss A was "keeping herself hydrated on this really loooong walk." Just call him Mr. Sarcasm.



Ah........ Summer. Stay tune for further adventures.

Funny Things I've Heard This Week

It's the final week of school which leads to happy children, stressed out mothers, and lots of laughs. Too many things to accomplish, too little time also means its good to take time out to laugh at some of the things my kids have done and said over the past few weeks.

Miss A has shocked me in the past few days with her reference to "adult party games." In pure innocence, she's suggested that a friend play Truth or Dare and she's asked if there would be Spin the Bottle at a birthday party she attended.

Guess she and her friend B were trying to convince B's twin brother to choose Truth or Dare. The dare was the S (B's brother) would need to wear flip flops with fabric ties on them to school. B and A thought this was the funniest thing ever, the thought that Mr. S would be wearing "girly" flip flops with flowers on them to Kindergarten had them rolling with laughter. Sadly, Mr. S and Miss B's mother put the kibosh on the "dare."

Miss A has attended four birthday parties in the past month; all for her little kindergarten friends. She's had a blast swimming, jumping in a bouncer, and playing games and eating pizza. Last Saturday, she was invited to a party at a friends house that promised lunch and party games galore. Miss A inquired if they would be playing Spin the Bottle. I about lost it, until she said that she loves games like that with a lot of action (No, not that type of action)! You spin the bottle round and round until it's your turn to do something crazy.

Thankfully, there were no boys invited to the party!

It's Mr. C's last week of Middle School. Hard to believe that he'll say goodbye to the school and a bunch of kids he's known since kindergarten. I'm not ready to think of next fall yet. This week the yearbooks came out and they were having a yearbook signing party for all of 8th grade. Mr C was trying to come up with some catchy phrases to use so we googled to find something that might fit his personality. Mr C especially liked the idea of writing;" School is a lot like a sucker it sucks until it's done."

Thankfully, he choose to write the less offensive "Stay off drugs" and "Have a great summer." I'd hate for him to get kicked out the final few days.

Miss M told me that she'd like to take cold lunch the rest of the school year if possible. She said the she no longer recognized the meat in the cafeteria and that it seemed like they were digging into last month's leftovers for food. I was more than willing to help her make her lunch and provide all the fixings, however I told her that I had one request, I can not touch Roast Beef. If she wanted Roast Beef, she'd have to make it herself, especially if she chose to make it the morning.

Miss M asked what my deal was with Roast Beef, did I have a bad experience with it once, was it a leftover bad experience from childhood? I said I just don't like it. Oh, she said it's kinda like how I feel about all green vegetables? It's disgusting to you isn't it?

Well sorta. But don't expect me to let you out of eating veggies Miss M, I'm the mom and that's my pleasure to cause you "bad experiences" from childhood with broccoli and peas!

Finally, I must tell on myself. Yesterday, I was mowing the lawn, listening to praise music on Mr C's Ipod and just trying to get this yucky job over with, when out from behind the air conditioner ran "something" right in front of my feet. I jumped, screamed and started running from the mower. My poor neighbor who just had a heart attack this winter came running to my rescue. My backdoor neighbor looked at me as if I was crazy.

I was certain it was rodent, but lo and behold it was just a small baby bunny hopping across the yard.

In my defense, I'm petrified of rodents. Rabbits look a lot like a rodent.

When the air conditioner service man came a few hours later for our yearly checkup, I told him he owed me for saving his life from a rabbit. Just think if he had walked back to the air conditioner and found a little bunny there waiting to attack.

Can't wait till I teach Mr. C how to mow the lawn this summer!

Funny Things I've Heard This Past Week

Mr C is our own little Yogi Berra. He's either stating things that are overtly obvious or he's mixing up his slogans and phrases in Malaprop form. Last week Mr. C told my husband "don't kick a blind horse in the face". Next thing you know, he'll be telling us a "Nickle ain't worth a dime anymore!"

After track practice last week, I asked Mr. C what was he working on. His response "running, you know putting one foot in front of the other and racing to the finish line." Really, and here I thought they would have been working on diving techniques!

Miss A has been attending a number of birthday parties for her little kindergarten friends. It's so fun to watch them greet each other with big hugs, laughs and squeals. According to P, the little girls even tried to hug on of the boys as he was leaving a party last week. He rushed out the door.

I told Miss A that I would be signing her out of school one day so we could catch C's track meet. His meet started about 1/2 an hour before elementary school would get out for the day. Miss A got all teary eyed and said "no way, I've missed too much school you can't sign me out." When I told her that it would only be for about 20 minutes she said, "I can't miss that time, it's the best time of the day, center time" Let's remember, it's Kindergarten. While she missed a few days for illness, I've not pulled her out for unnecessary reasons. But she stood her ground and refused. Somehow I think that if I'd offered the same out to the junior highers in my house, the answer would be drastically different.

Finally, Miss M is working on a paper for social studies on the Revolutionary War. She needed to put together an analogy comparing the British with the Colonists. M came up with idea of a peanut butter sandwich with the Brits as the bread and the colonists as peanut butter. The analogy was long and drawn out about dry bread, gooey peanut butter and the deeper it got the more confused I became. We finally scrapped the idea and started over after much laughter.

I love hearing these funny little thoughts and phrases come out my children's lips. They keep me on my toes and make me laugh. Can't get better than that.

Valentine's Day Recap

Valentine Boxes. Those two words put fear into the hearts of most elementary school parents. I've told my husband that some of the people at our school must spend countless hours and lots of money making elaborate Valentine boxes that are ripped to shreds in five minutes once the party is over.

My clever husband has made five boxes over the past eight years for two children. How you ask? He's convinced our children to use the same box for numerous years and we always make the slot big enough to shake out the cards and goodies.

This year's box for Miss A was her choice. An Ipod. It was according to P the best box ever and was easy to make. It's really just gift wrap, a few paper plates and some paper. Miss A picked the songs for her playlist and I printed them off. Total price about $5.00; Thrill of the box: Priceless.

The kindergarten party was according to Miss A "the best ever." We had nearly 12 moms volunteer to help in the classroom and lets just say the energy in the room needed all hands on deck. Miss A's class is so fun. Every time I walk into the classroom at least five little voices say, "Hi, A's Mom" and I get at least 10 hugs from little girls.

Thanks to a little "home improvement work" this weekend and the fact that Valentine central was no longer taking over the dining room we could have our annual Chinese Valentine takeout extravaganza. Miss M created a hidden note "under glass" reveal moment for our secret valentines. The only one who was really surprised of course was Miss A who was convinced that I was her secret friend. In reality, I just shopped for her secret valentine!

P was thrilled with his gift of new struts for his car and I'm loving the new garbage disposal I got!! Really, P and C are headed to the Texas basketball game this weekend and I got a new printer for my laptop! Who said romance was dead.

Love you honey!

Funny Things I've Heard

Even in the midst of a winter storm, there are things to smile about around these parts. Especially when we've had two snow days in a row!

Church is for the Birds:

On Saturday, the girls and I were out running errands and drove by a church with a huge slanted roof. It was a nice, sunny, and relatively warm afternoon (where did those days go?) and sitting on top of the roof were probably 75 birds. I pointed this adorable sight out to the girls and asked what they thought the birds were doing.

M quickly said it looks like they are having "church." One bird even seems to be sitting off my himself. He must be the pastor.

I commented that it was only Saturday. Weren't they a day early for worship?

A quickly said they maybe the birds gathered on Saturday's because all the people in the parking lot "clicking" their cars locked might scare the birds. "You knowing that locking beep that cars make is really loud!"

M added, "yeah and too many birds on the roof on a Sunday morning might result in lots of bird poop on church goers too!"

Snow Day Excitement:

Yesterday, in the midst of blowing and drifting snow, Miss M asked if she could invite a friend over to hang out. A friend who lives at least 5 miles away. I said that I doubted we could have friends driving over to play when we couldn't go to school. Miss M said, "I knew there was a downer to a snow day, you can't leave home."

Today, with school cancelled yet again, but the roads much better we ventured out to Piano lessons and to run a few errands. Of course, that meant we had to celebrate with "Happy Hour at Sonic." I even splurged on mozzarella sticks which caused much cheering from the girls.

As we drove forward to get our drinks, A noticed that no one was sitting in the Outside Eating Area and said "guess nobody wants to sit outside in this lovely weather." Let's remember, it's 12 degrees!

Essay's and lessons from our father

Finally, Mr. C has been asked to sign up for a Rotary Club Scholars program. He needed to write an essay and fill out an application and turn it in tomorrow. I suggested that we review his private school application notes and rework a 500 word essay he'd written as well.

C looked at me and said "isn't that cheating?" I went on to say, we didn't need to reinvent the wheel here, we had already done the work and could just "re purpose" the material for what we needed for school. In just a little bit of time, we had a completed application and a great essay.

Now, of course, I had to explain that you can't do this for research papers or book reports. This is unlike his father, who due to moving across country, used the same book multiple times for book reports. Just saying.

Funny Things I've Heard Lately

You know that saying, "the best laid plans?" Well they kinda blew up for me the past two weeks. The final two weeks before Christmas Vacation was suppose to be spent getting all those "errands" done, writing the Christmas letter and sending it off, and having lots of time to bake, wrap presents, etc.

But God had different plans and I spent four days with sick children; thus no baking or errand running. Instead, the days were spent cuddling on the couch with a six year old who I think enjoyed the time as much as her mother. It was, according to her, just like "old times" when we had the house to ourselves to read books, watch Christmas movies, and snuggle.

So, while I attempt to cram all my errands into one day, I thought I'd share these funny stories of the past few weeks. Some days you just gotta laugh.

In the car a few weeks ago, Miss A was gabbing with her friend G about a girl in her kindergarten class who had unexpectedly changed classes. The girls' name really had G pondering things. You see her name is Heaven. G asked Miss A to repeat the name, Miss A said my friend Heaven moved classes today. G responded, "her name is HEAVEN, what were her parents thinking!" Miss A looked at her stunned and said, "yeah her name is Heaven." G again looked puzzled and said, "Heaven is not a name for a girl, it's a place up in the sky with God." and then went on to say, "Really, it's not a name for a girl, it's a place."

I was laughing so hard that I had to force myself to pay attention to the road. You see Miss G had said what so few adults would have the guts to say. She laid it out straight. I love that girl!!

........


Before Miss A got sick last week, I was driving her to school asking her if she was ready for the last week before Christmas Break. She commented that she couldn't believe she was done with Kindergarten already and wondered who she would get for first grade. I said, "OH, Miss A, it's just the end of the calendar year not the end of the school year."

"No" she said, " this is it, I'm all done with Kindergarten this week, just five more days and then no school until after my birthday in August."

"Honey, I think you are confused, you will be going back to Kindergarten in January until May to finish up the school year" holding back laughter as I told her.

"Do Mr C and Miss M know that? Do they have school, too. I think we are done this week."

Once we cleared up the fact that yes her siblings would be returning to school in January, I think she took the news a little better, however, she really wasn't convinced and said she'd have to check into that!

.........

We traded in our van last week for a new model. It was quick and unplanned, but the deal was just too good to pass up. Most of the work was done over the phone and we didn't really let the kids in on the deal We kept it a surprise. Miss A, of course, got to come along to pick the van up as she was still out of school with a little temp. That afternoon, I told her we would go pick up Miss M from school to surprise her. We sat in our spot waiting. Miss M appeared and looked around and around for our "purple" van. Miss A and I were cracking up, until finally Miss A rolled down the window and yelled for M to come to our new car. What a look we got.

Later, we had to return to the school to pick up Mr. C from Jazz band practice. I called to tell him I was running a few minutes late, but was coming. Mr. C and his friend J were waiting in the circle as I pulled up. They kept standing there. I honked. No response. Finally, I think Mr. J told C to see if that might be his mom in the van.

Over they came to the van. Mr. C's first response "does Dad know that you got a new car Mom?" Well considering he's the only one who has a salary to buy things with "yes". Mr. C still not certain asked again, " I didn't think we were planning on getting a new van until the fall, why didn't you tell me you were getting one today?"

Guess you could say he doesn't like surprises!!

Funny Things I've Heard Lately

Today is pajama day at the Elementary School in honor of Red Ribbon Week. The goal is to encourage kids to say no to drugs. I remember when Mr. C's class had this activity in either 1st or 2nd grade and he came home petrified. He needed to stop taking his allergy medicine . "It's say no to drugs week, Mom I'm not suppose to take any drugs." He was certain that included his favorite drug of choice; Allegra. Hmm, I wonder where his littlest sister gets her "literal thinking."

This morning, when Miss A was changing out of her nightgown to get dressed for school ( no I don't let them wear the pj's they slept in, gross!) in her favorite fluffy purple pj's, we laughed that we were getting dressed for bed, no school, no bed. Miss A wondered what about the kids who forgot to wear pj's? It's not like they can go to the office and ask to "borrow a pair of pj's for the day" she commented. No, it's not honey.

Last week, when I was picking Mr. C and his best buddy Mr. J up from school to take them to the golf course, Mr. J hopped into the car wearing a shirt from a high school in town that we are looking at for next year. I asked Mr. J if that meant he was going there for sure. "No it was just clean" was his response. Mr. C noticed that that there was a food stain in the middle of the shirt, and said it's not clean anymore. Mr. J's response cracked me up "Well forgive me for eating!"

Miss A and I were at the Library last week to pick up a few books for both of us; she's becoming quite the reader and we were looking for a couple of short easy books for her to dig into. The library shares the building with an elementary school and a community center so there is always a lot of hustle and bustle around. On this evening, there was a martial arts class out in the commons area. The kids were probably around 4 or 5 years old. Miss A was fascinated watching them show off their skills.

As we left with our books in hand, Miss A asked a few questions about the martial arts class, what it was called, why they wore those "outfits" and finally "who do kids that age kill?"

Guess in her mind they were learning the karate kicks for defense and killing. We had a little talk about karate as a training and exercise program. At least we did right after I silently laughed my head off!

Finally, Miss M's girl scout troop had a meeting yesterday after school. As her leader, I gave her permission to skip Improvfest practice to attend. Really, I told her with only 7 girls she had no choice and I'm her mother. Turns out that she was missing a Shakespeare performance of Romeo and Juliet which was taking place in the cafeteria right below us. Looking through the huge glass window, the girls watched a few moments and then Miss M said, "well, I guess at least in Girl Scouts I don't have to watch people kissing in big fancy costumes and speaking lines I can't even understand, right mom?" Yeah that's always my goal at girl scouts; no kissing and speaking words that make sense!

Funny Things I've Heard Lately

I think by the time my kids leave the "nest," I'll have enough funny stories to go on the road as a comedian. Of course, by then, I'll also be ready for the nursing home so maybe I should hit road a little sooner!

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Miss A has a new nickname around these parts: "Miss Literal." She takes everything literally. Everything. One of the other classrooms brings out the "playground box" at lunch. It's their job to haul out the balls, jump ropes, and sundry items for the kids to play with outside during recess. Miss A was convinced they only brought it out for their class and not to share. She's yet to use one item out of the box, because it belongs to Mrs. N's class. No convincing on my part or that of her siblings that the toys were for all Kindergarten kids would do. We had to tattle to the teacher, who finally convinced Miss A that it was for everyone!

Sunday in the car, she took Literal to a new level however. After we dropped Miss M off at her softball game, Miss A and I were driving around looking for a parking place. Having just talked the day before about old fashioned Sunday Night Drives when I was child, Miss A quickly pointed out to me that "this does not count as a Sunday Drive, there is no ice cream involved." Here I just thought I was killing time waiting for a spot to clear up in the softball lot.

We've started the High School Search for Mr. C. Don't even get me started on this process and all that I find wrong with how our school system picks who goes to what school, etc. Let's just say that while I "love" our elementary and middle school options, I'm looking around for the best HS for Mr. C. Last Friday was a day off of school so he "shadowed" a student at a local college prep all boys school. He had to get up at normal school time, put on dress pants and dress shirt, and go to school! Oh, the inhumanity of it all.

Suffice to say; he really liked the school, thought the boys were nice and the atmosphere was very excellent for learning. There were no slackers he said. His favorite part, The FOOD, was Excellent. All you could eat, so he helped himself to three milks! Yes that's right we'd be doling out tons of money for a great education and the best part would be the food in Mr. C's mind.

When I said maybe he should think about Boarding at the school (an option, but we are going the Day Student option if it's our choice) he said, "Well I'd miss you all, but the food was good!!"

Miss M is feeling right at home in the Improv Fest group. Last week, they not only practiced for the upcoming performance, they had a special presentation on the 7th and 8th grade Drama Club trip to NYC to see Broadway Shows. Miss M told us to start saving our money, she's going. Not only do they see three shows, they get a tour of NYC sights, stay in a fabulous hotel with 24 hour security right outside their doors, and be a part of all that is New York.

Now, according to her, all she has to do is get over her fear of Elevators. Guess she's not too excited about the stairs at the Empire State Building. She's got at least two years to work on this little phobia or it is the Midwest forever for her.

Fall is officially here and with our entire family is sneezing, coughing, hacking up a lung and suffering from seasonal allergies. It's almost like a symphony around these parts with all the noises coming from various body parts.

Mr. C has been hit the hardest lately and I'll loved his comment on how unfair it is to suffer allergies: "it's no fair that I'm not sick enough to stay home, but I'm sick enough to be miserable. What kind of sickness is that!" Well my son, it is the best kind.

Funny Things I've Heard Around Here Lately

Spending hours together traveling provided numerous moments of comedy. Due to the sensitive nature of one of our children, we have taken to laughing to ourselves and not out loud. Guess Miss A believes that we are laughing at her and not with her.

Driving back from Chicago last week, we were all laughing at a joke of sorts that Mr C had told us. Miss A was cracking herself up as were the rest of us. A few minutes later, when it was silent in the car, Miss A asked, "now what was so funny that we were all laughing." I guess she had joined in the laughter just for fun of it, but did not catch the joke.

That of course had us all laughing again.

On Wednesday night, a quick storm rolled through with high winds and rain. The sirens went off and we quickly went to the basement. Now that we've finished off a portion, it's much nicer to weather out a storm. We'd just gotten downstairs when my husband commented how nice it is to "watch" the weather on TV when the lights suddenly went out and everything was dark. We'd lost power.

Really it was just seconds after his comment that we were sitting in the dark. Good going Dad, thanks for that.

Thank Goodness We Have Hand Held Electronics to Play with when the Power is Out!

While the storm was over quickly, we did not have electricity until almost midnight, meaning we had to open up windows, use flashlights to play games and read, and have lanterns ready for nightfall.

Playing Guess Who In Jammies. Thankfully we'd showered before the storm and were all ready for Family Movie Night. Too Bad We Missed the Movie!
It was a little warm in the house so Miss M asked if "we can at least have fans on to cool things down." Well honey, for that to happen, we'd need power!

Rain Storms that come fast and furious leave lots of Puddles behind. You just gotta Jump In!

Mr C asked if we could please close the screen door as the crickets noises would be to loud for him to sleep. Hello! this child goes camping with the Boy Scouts, outside!

Maybe this is why our family never goes camping... we can't even handle roughing it our own beds!!

Funny Things I've Heard This Week

I know it's been awhile since my last Funny Things Post. It doesn't mean the laughs aren't around, it just means I've been so busy laughing at life that I haven't had time to document it.

Mr C is trying out for the track team at his school. This is the same child who quit soccer in 2nd grade because it "involves too much running up and down the field." At that time, he chose Baseball as his favorite sport as it had little running except in short distances along with golf which involves no running at all. However, Papa does say he needs to pick up the speed on the course a little bit.

More power to him though. Literally. According to C, he's hoping to not do a lot of running at track as he's more interested in the jumping. He, of course, would be willing to do short distances. He says he has lightening speed if it's not far to go. Maybe the relay race.

If nothing else, he thinks it will mean more speed for base hits and more power behind his driver and 5 iron. I'm all for anything that gets us moving and shaking. The added laundry I could do without.

Miss M's Girl Scout troop had lesson #2 in Knitting this week. Thankfully, Nana and Nana's friend came along to help out! There are 5 girls who are really "getting it." They are liking it, have stitches to show for their work, and are anxious about learning. They asked if we could have a knitting club this summer at my house. Lemonade on the deck and knitting needles in hand. I said, "Yes!"

M's response to other girls about why her project looks so good; "I have good genes!" I'm not kidding! She told them she has a grandmother who knits and sews and a grandmother who knits and quilts and a mother who knits and does laundry. Well, I added the laundry part. I don't know how to quilt or sew. I've tried sewing, I might try again. Quilting looks like it involves math and you know I hate anything with math!

Miss M also informed me this week that we need to get her a "slew of flip flops and summer shoes now" as I guess you need flip flops for every outfit. I bought her brown ones.-a neutral that goes with everything. Task accomplished though not nearly as exciting as a "slew."

Miss A's preschool is on Spring Break starting Good Friday through the next week. She's been busy planning her social calendar. Shopping, lunch with Nana, Bowling with Tess, Park Play dates with friends, maybe some more shopping, and bike ridding with sister.

I was under the impression you rested during a break. She not so much. What does this mean for our summer I wonder. Maybe we should look into hiring a "cruise director" or a "social secretary." I'd hate for our summer to be wasted away with relaxing, reading and laying by the pool. Heaven forbid, we'd go to the lake, sit by the water and watch the fish jump.

Miss A is also very interested in when we are going to start having baseball/softball/soccer games. According to her that means lots of good snacks. Between the Snack Shack at the Field and the Snacks on the sidelines at games, it means a bounty of goodies. Glad to know she's in it for the physical activity too!

Last week, the neighbors grandchildren were in town for a few days and M and A entertained them for a few hours on Sunday afternoon. There was running and skipping and playing on the jungle gym and, of course, snacks.

Monday afternoon before they left, the little boy told Miss A how excited he was to be going home to Minnesota the next day. He missed his house. But he'd miss A too when he was gone. Miss A's response "we are going to Minnesota in May for a Wedding, give me your address and I'll stop by." What! Exchanging addresses so soon. Guess I can be thankful she doesn't have a phone, she would have promised to text him too!

Like I said, the laughter never ends around here!