I love school supplies. I love fresh new notebooks and sharpened pencils. In the years after college graduation, I always looked longingly at the Target Back to school ads. I wished that I had a need for a new trapper keeper.
That is until I became the mother of a school aged student.
School supplies and Back to School ads take on a whole new meaning as a mother. It's a sign that you are ushering in a new year. Who really thinks of January as the beginning of the year? All of my calendars start in September.
This is one of those milestones years. Miss M will head to the middle school and Miss A will head off to kindergarten. We are ushering in a whole new lifestyle around these part in which all the children go off to school all day.
In many ways, I've been thinking about this day all summer, the day that I drop A off at the elementary school and walk out alone and go home to an empty house. I've had countless people ask me what I plan to do with myself now. What will I do to fill up all the time? Have I thought about getting a job?
It's as if they are asking me what will I do with myself now that I am no longer needed. No more fixing lunches for little ones, no rushing to the grocery store while the preschooler is in school, no more arranging play dates around nap time, and no going to the park in the morning while the big kids are in school and the playground is quiet.
The implication is that my job is done. I've finished parenting my children and now it's the teachers' job to fill in the gaps and shape them into the adults society wants them to be. It's as if I'm turning them over to someone else and I'm not really needed except to drive car pool and help pack lunches.
I think in many ways my job is even more important now. Being available for my children while they are in the elementary and junior high years is critical. These are the years they will remember forever. The time in their lives in which their character, values, morals and beliefs about who they are are formed, modified, and molded. Being there for them on sick days, hanging out on day's off, countering the culture they are exposed to each day with Godly wisdom.
A few years ago my son was the target of a bully on the bus. I didn't know about it, he kept it to himself. It was subtle and he was trying to be strong. Whenever we talked about school and friends, he said everything was fine, no problems. The day before Christmas Break, I was sitting in the family room working on some last minute Christmas presents. The school bus dropped Mr. C off at the bottom of the hill and he walked through the front door and I could just tell something was not right. By God's provision, I had made homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies that day and had them ready in the kitchen for C's arrival.
I put aside my project, sat down, and asked again for the 100th time that school year; "How was your day?" This time, the response was different. The waterworks opened and he told me the whole story of the bullying on the bus.
Had I not been there? Had I not asked all the previous days before how his day was and waited for his answer each time, I might not have gotten the response I did that December afternoon.
All the previous days and the years before had allowed C and I to have that moment when I could look into his eyes and "know" something was off.
I'm so glad I'd made the investment in time. So glad that I had often put aside what I wanted to do for me to be there.
That's why on Monday when I come home alone, I'll be OK. I know deep down that this is not an end to my parenting job, but it's just another curve in the road. A change of direction.
Sure I'll be getting a lot more "projects" done during the day, I'll be able to volunteer my time, I'll go back to BSF and not worry about preschool pick up or have to arrange childcare for lunches with girlfriends. Without a doubt, I'll be available from 2:40 p.m. everyday. Those "bewitching" hours after school and before dinner and activities will be precious time to reconnect, redirect and focus on my kids.
I'll have tons of time during the day to do things for me and others, that time will be just for them!!
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