Life Lessons: Facing the Music after a Goof Up

Miss M came home from school last Tuesday and told me that I should never show my face again at her school. I was the laughing stock of 6th grade.  No less than 500 people had come up to her and asked if it was her mother that had run over that stop sign.  They called me the idiot, the crazy mom, and the stop sign lady. 

At first, my thought was fine; I'm never going to that place again.  I don't like confrontation and hate teasing so it's like my worst nightmare. 

However. that's not the lesson I want to teach my children. I want them to stand up for themselves and for others. I want them to tackle the "tough stuff" and not just hide it under the rug.  Of course, I had the opportunity to show my face at school the very next day when Miss M had her choir concert and I had to do it all alone.  C was at football, M was at soccer, and P had a dinner meeting.  Just me. 

To soften the blow in my heart, I'd made cookies for the assistant principal and office staff and took them with as a thank you for their efforts on my behalf.  Within minutes of my arrival (1/2 hour before the concert so M could rehearse), I'd run into another assistant principal who shared how funny she thought it was that it was me, someone so many of the staff knew. Then, it was the principal who asked if my day was going better than the previous one and hopefully no more accidents.

Sitting in my seat waiting for the concert and knitting away, I figured I'd made it, no worries.  Then I heard the family behind me talking about the "funniest thing ever" about a crazy women who ran over a stop sign.  They laughed and chuckled at what an idiot she must have been.  So distracted.  Must have been talking on her phone.  Really can you believe someone could be that stupid.

I just sat there. Silent. Calm. You know the real life lesson here is that I could have been that women chuckling at another's calamity. I could have been sharing stories of how stupid other people are, judging them, and making value statements without facts.  I've done it before. In my mind, I've said "idiot" when others have messed up.  Gossiped about others who have done dumb things without thinking.

It was hard to "hear" of my goof up and know they were laughing at me; not with me.  But it was a lesson in humility, a reminder not to be that person who laughs about someone else or judges others too harshly.  Eating crow is not easy.  Walking into a placewhere you are afraid people (OK, sixth graders along with all the staff/teachers) are laughing at you and facing it to some small degree isn't easy.  But, as my husband so kindly pointed out, it's better to laugh at yourself then to make it a big deal.  By tomorrow, someone else will do something else that's stupider and you'll be back page news.

Yes, I was the laughing stock of my daughter's middle school for a few days.  In some respects, I should have been as it was stupid thing to do.  However, it's a life lesson that I'm glad I could take for the "team" as it's easy to judge, gossip, or laugh at someone else until that person is you.  I need to not only watch where I am going when I drive, I also need to watch my tounge when I rush into judge.

Next Lesson on Facing the Music will be the Auto Body Shop.......

Freestyle Preacher Man

For theology class, Mr C was asked to read a book by a Christian Author and then give a persuasive speech outlining why the rest of the class should read the book.  Now to put it in perspective, I should say that Mr C hates to read.  Unlike his two sisters and mother, he's never meet a book he's loved or been drawn to read just for fun.  He reads only what is required and it's still a challenge to get him to read that. 

Now don't be feeling sorry for the boy, he can read. He's been reading at a 12th grade level for six years.  In fact, he scored higher on the reading part of the ACT test in 7th grade than the math portion.  Math you will remember is his favorite subject. (Yuck.  Sometimes I wonder where this child came from!)

Of course because his mother loves to read, I had plenty of books to offer the boy.  He took both David Platt's Radical and Francis Chan's Crazy Love.   Not easy reads, but oh so powerful.  Crazy Love was his final choice and Radical went home with another unsuspecting young man.  I'm thinking that book might have scared his parents and him, but hey that's the gospel for you.  It will rock your world.

He loved the Crazy Love.  In fact, he read it all and is thinking of reading it again this winter after football season when he can really digest its deep thoughts.  Now that's my boy!

Mr C is a little radical himself in his faith.  If you don't believe me just ask Miss M who dies of embarrassment each Sunday during worship when Mr. C will do the actions to Days of Elijah or to Love the Lord Your God.  The boys in Mr C's math class at school (all sophomores and then Mr C) call him the Freestyler for his prayers before class starts.  Most boys say the Lords Prayer or a just a quick Thank You God prayer, but not Mr C.  He prayers protection for the football team on game days, clear minds on test days and gratitude on early dismissal days! Freestyle prayers, what a gift.

Here's Mr C's speech on the book Crazy Love:

    Have you ever wondered if we are missing it? Just take a moment to process this. the creator of all the Universe and everything around you, loved you so much that he sent His Son to die for you. Jesus died for you, one of the worst deaths imaginable, while you were still a sinner.  Would you die for a man like Osama bin Laden or Hitler? God did the equivalent for you.  We just don't have the capacity to love like Him.
   That is what Crazy Love is all about. The author Francis Chan, did a great job explaining how much God loves us, in a way we can understand. One of his main points in the book is to profile a lukewarm Christian. This is somebody who does things to be good, but doesn't really have a real relationship with God. Chan talks about how God doesn't want a lukewarm person, but commands us to follow him. He doesn't say" when it fits your schedule" or "how ever you want it" God wants us to love Him, be obsessed with Him.
   You should read this book because it will show you what Christ wants you to live like, because when you are madly in love it changes everything!

Preach it brother, preach it!  Love that boy!

It Will Be Well Worth Your Time

Miss A has a way with words.  She often uses phrases that are a way beyond a normal seven year old daily vocabulary and, for the most part, she uses them in the right context.  She'll say things that get right to the heart of the matter and often tug at those heartstrings as well.  Daily, she'll say things that stop me in my tracks or give me a giant chuckle.

My husband says she repeats a lot of the phrases that I use with other adults or say to either my mother or husband in conversations.  While I hate to admit he's right, he is.  Sometimes, though, she'll say things that I know I've never said!

This week alone she's said things that I just want to document for future reference.  On Wednesday night, I was at knitting and Mr C was at grandparents night at his school (with both sets of Grands!!) so P was home with the girls.  It was a perfect Indian Summer Night and, now that Miss A knows how to ride her bike, she and Miss M are outside ridding along whenever they can.

P was inside reading when Miss A comes in and tells him that he needs to come outside. "It will be well worth your time" she said.  So, outside P goes and she directs him to walk up the hill with her to watch her bike ride.  You see, she's now learned how to start at the top of the hill and ride all the way down the hill by herself without stopping. Y'all, its a big hill and this is only day four of no training wheels.  But she did it and without a doubt it was well worth P's time to watch.  You Go Girl!

The second incident was Thursday morning at the breakfast table. It was just Miss A and I as the rest of the crew leaves early.  I was going through our plan for the day and I asked her if she knew what day of the week it was.  She replied, "PE day."  Yes, it s the day you have gym class, but what "day "of the week is it really. "Well, it's Thursday." 

I asked her if she remembers what happens on Thursdays.  I have drop off at dance for M at 3:45 and then have to rush to Miss A's school for pickup at 3:55 which means I go through the drive up lane rather than park and exit the car to get her. It gives me about five extra minutes and I need every last one of them.

She told me she's knows that its "drive thru" day, but she doesn't like it one bit. She said she can't understand why Miss M can't get to dance even earlier or why I can't park and come get her no matter the time. I went on to explain that two weeks ago I did rush to pick her up, parked the car, and ran to the building only to "slide" thru the crossing path wipe out and scrape up my knee and elbow.

That's right she said, "it's all about you, don't forget I'm the one waiting and waiting for you!"  My that girl has moxie.  I said sorry Miss A, but its drive up for you.

Seriously people I could not make this up.

Balcony Girls Begins

We are looking to try something new with Miss M's Girl Scout troop this year so we are incorporating the Balcony Girls curriculum from Sally Couglin and I'm loving it.  This is now our seventh year of being "together"' and, while the numbers have shrunk, most of these girls have been with me from the very beginning.

Last year when M made the jump to the junior high the dynamics of our troop changed, I'll admit I struggled with the girls and how best to make it fun, relevant, and life impacting.  Seeing all the drama that marks pre-teen and teenage girls, I wanted to help these girls handle the changes ahead and also just have fun being girls.

I'll admit I'm not a camper. I'm also not one who has a lot of domestic skills in my back pocket that I can pull out and share how to sew, carve wood, build a fire or rough it in the wilderness.  I'm a suburban mom and it shows.  However, one thing that Girl Scouting taught me a young girl was how to be a leader, how to stand up to peer pressure, and to be confident in my abilities.

Balcony Girls takes a lot of these skills and life lessons that I've so much wanted to share with my girls and puts it in a lesson that can be done once a month/or more in an hour and half and includes a snack, lesson and often a craft to drive home the concept.  It does all the work for me!  Plus, because of the way the lessons are layed out, I can use them in the confines of Girl Scouting and the girls will get the best of both.

So this year, we are bringing the troop into my home once or twice a month right after school. Our first lesson was on caring and we talked about how to build people up rather than tearing them down. We role-played giving people our "applause and cheering for them" and felt what it felt like to be the one giving and the one receiving.  We talked of filling up each other's  buckets and realizing why some girls act "mean" or bully when all they are really looking for is someone to fill them up a little.

Let me tell you these girls filled my bucket this day.  It had been a rough afternoon and I had so much fun chatting with the girls, giggling, and learning.  Each girl got a special Balcony Girl journal that they wrote a little something about our lesson that I'm keeping for them (in a locked drawer with no peaking) each time.  Sitting on the back deck, they had a chance to just think for a minute what it meant to be a person who cared.

Two girls told me that this was the best meeting they had been to ever.  It was intimate, private and they really connected.  Miss M said it just felt right to be in our home doing this rather than the industrial cafeteria at the school.  We've planned a tea party for later this month, we'll be making a blanket to for our Girl Scout badges, and have some great ideas for field trips we want to work around the GS and Balcony Girl materials.

New life into a old troop; fabulous.  Life lessons shared among friends and with an adult who is crazy about the young women they are becoming. Priceless.

Not My Best Monday

Accidents really have a way of putting a damper on another wise stellar day.  I was excited for Miss M's Balcony Girls/Girl Scout troop meeting, I'd gotten the house ready for the meeting and it had been a perfect fall Monday.  I'd been to the gym to work out, ran a few errands and even had time to work on my Bible study.

I'd arrived at the Jr. High a little early, anxious to meet the girls before the bus and drive them to my house for our first meeting of the year.  The first parking stall I'd chosen didn't seem right; I thought if I exited the car others would be stuck behind me.  Listening to the radio and planning in my head the next few hours of the day, I did not see the Stop Sign in the middle of the road ahead.

Now to give you a little background.  It's a short stop sign and it's not always there. Really.  I ran smack into it. My lovely ten month old Honda Minivan (that I'd just washed and vacuumed that very day) ran over a five foot stop sign and it was now wedged under my car.  I tried backing up. Nothing. Going forward. Nothing.

I ran into the building as cars loaded with parents watched, and said I needed help ASAP to get the stop sign out from under my car.  You see not only was the sign stuck, I was stuck in the middle of the road.  Blocking traffic with just seconds to spare before the bell rang.

The Assistant Principal came out and said," Mrs. B let's see what we can do;" and between the off duty police officer and himself they directed me to backup and get out of the way of oncoming traffic.  By now, the bell had rung and hundreds of 5th and 6th graders are piling out of the building and snapping pictures of my car and laughing.  I'm holding it together, but worried about the Girl Scouts, my car and how I would ever explain this to P.

The principal comes over to offer his condolences, er help, and then it becomes evident that we'll need to jack the car up to get the pole out.  In the course of the next fifteen minutes, the asst. principal jacks up my car, my husband arrives ( Miss M had frantically called him from my cell phone, poor guy thought from her screaming that I'd been impaled by a stop sign), and it's still stuck.

By now, most of the kids have been picked up sans my little group of girls and the entire staff has been notified of my "situation."  The Junior High Football Coaches arrive and offer to lift the car up just a little bit more so my husband can pull it out. It appears that the base of the sign is just caught up under the undercarriage with no significant damage underneath.  One big grunt and the car is up and the sign it out.  Hurrah!

The damage to my car really is very little, just a small dent on the hood and I'm thankful to say the damage to my ego really isn't as bad as it could have been.  A friend saw me in my moment of stress and offered help and a hug, the staff at the school jumped into my rescue, and my husband said there was no need to apologize, I'd beat myself up enough already with the whole school watching.

All in all, it was a good lesson for my Girl Scouts, to stay calm in a crisis, to ask for help and receive it openly and to really pay attention where you are going and not get distracted.  Accidents can really mess up your day if you let them or they can be just a little glitch on your day. 

Accomplishment by any Definition

ac·com·plish·mentNoun/əˈkämpliSHmənt/

1. Something that has been achieved successfully.

2. The successful achievement of a task

According to Miss A, today was a day of accomplishing a big hurdle.  Today was the day she got her training wheels removed from her bike and she was able to ride up and down the hill and even do a few U turns.

She was so proud of herself.  Of course, at first, she was a little nervous and thought that Dad should really stay with her and not push too hard.  When Dad was standing right next to her, it was easy to be brave, but as when he left her at the top of the hill and she edged closer and closer to the hill pedaling with all her might it made for some sweaty hands.

We live in the middle of a big hill, our driveway is a big hill, and it can be a little daunting to learn to ride bikes under those circumstances. In fact, Miss A rarely wanted to ride the bike with the training wheels as she wasn't confident she could "stop."  But today when Dad took her to the top of the hill without the training wheels, she finally got it.  

With Dad's help, she learned to start, stop and even make some U-ee's.  She was absolutely thrilled despite that serious look of concentration.  I'm sure her tongue was sticking out to the side just a little too.  She went from driveway to driveway learning to control her speed. She watched for traffic, but really wanted Dad to handle that duty.  (Thankfully, we live on a very quiet street) The pride was evident despite the serious look on her face.

When she came in for a little drink and watched me make dinner, she told me that today was an Accomplishment.   Sweetie it really was. We are so proud of you!  

Watch out neighbors, she's a girl with wheels and she's not afraid to use them!

Happy Fall Ya'll

It's officially fall so it's time to get my porch decorated for the season.  I have friends with a flare for decorating whose front porch/entry way looks like a harvest boutique set up.  I can only dream to be that classy.  I'm what you call decorating delayed!

On Wednesday, I went and got some mums.  Only to find out once I got home that 4 of 5 were one color and the last one was red.  I blame it on the sweat in my eyes from mowing the lawn that morning.  I went to the hardware store in my "mowing clothes and shoes" praying I wouldn't run into anyone I knew.  Figured I'd be playing in the dirt so why shower and change. 

I wanted to buy some pumpkins and gourds at the store, but decided the price was too steep and I knew Miss M and Miss A would kill me if I did this part of the decorating without them.  Then, on Thursday, I saw a good friend's front porch display and grew jealous. Her pumpkins were rocking huge and the display was just too darn cute. 

On Friday, Mrs. H told me of a secret "pumpkin farm" not too far from our house.  It was just a little farmer who sold his own crop and the prices were way cheap.  Others chirped in that this was the place to go, so this morning after soccer the girls, hubby P, and I went to our new favorite pumpkin patch.  Now, I'll admit it's not charming.  We didn't pick our own pumpkins in the field, but the prices were fabulous.  Stalks of Milo for $2.  Pumpkins from 75 cents to $2, and even a selection of gourds for free.

With a little harvest bucket and small hay bale from Hobby Lobby along with my husband's help organizing, I now have a front porch that says" Happy Fall Y'all !"  I love it.  Best of all, it cost under $25 for everything. 

Now I'm good with decorating until Christmas!